I grew up in good old Baptist church, where I was taught the importance of living a life that is above reproach so that when people who do not follow Jesus see my life, they would realize that I have something they don't have and they'd want to follow Jesus, too.
This concept is actually a good one. Matthew 5:16 says, "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." But it's the application of the concept where I usually go wrong.
I tend to forget that being a Christian is not about being perfect, but about being forgiven. It's about having your sins
paid for by the blood of God's only Son, Jesus. I forget that God loved me while I was actively opposed to Him, and while I was literally unable to please Him.
The result of this forgetfulness is that I try to hide my sin from the world. Instead of displaying the good news that God is forgiving sins through Jesus, I start to think that if I am not perfectly behaved, people will think that Jesus is a hoax.
How much more prideful could someone get? The problem with this is that the picture I paint of myself is hardly ever a real one. And instead of walking in the freedom of faith that I am loved unconditionally, I walk on eggshells, in fear of being found out.
The ironic part about all of this is that when we finally do just trust and receive the unmerited love of God
just as we are, then we will, as C.S. Lewis put it, be freed to "take off the silly, ugly, fancy-dress in which we have all got ourselves up" and to actually start shining the light of Christ.
I have to remember that I can never get fancy enough on the outside to earn God's love. God's love could
never be earned, and therefore, it can
never be lost. There is no need to hide the dark places of my heart from others or from Him; if I let His light shine on my heinous sin, he will heal it.